Allan Takes Aim Blog

Life and death are in the cards

Posted on: 11 February 2010

First published in The Chronicle Canberra ,Tuesday 2 Feb 2010

Attending for a blood test a few weeks ago I was asked did I have my Medicare card with me. Fortunately I had, but later as I mused over a coffee I realised how often today cards are needed to live and fantasised about what might happen in the future.

In future would cards be needed for starting a family? Couples, perhaps, would need to check their maternity and paternity cards to learn if they would make suitable parents before being allowed to indulge their natural instincts.

If their cards gave them the OK, when their first baby was born they would be issued its Early Life credit card so that, from time to time, they could check how it was progressing. However, the Early Life card would expire when the child reached the age of eight at which time it would be exchanged for a Whole of Life card.

Fantasy it may be, but long ago I came to the conclusion that life without fantasy would not be worth living and that, every day, one should hope for a fantasy if only to keep sane. But be warned: never try to force a fantasy; forced fantasies can become nightmares. Which brings me to the part that God plays in this story. Let me explain what I mean. While God is real to many people for me, in today’s technological world, He/Her is a fantasy it isn’t difficult to believe in.

I am not a believer. Indeed in my opinion God is really a Super Computer whose technology is such that that man is still too technologically naïve to understand. I realise also, that because no one knows how or who built this super computer, my fantasy does nothing to help advance any existing theories about God.

No doubt people will want to know how this Super Computer controls the universe? You might think my answer even more of a fantasy. The Super Computer exercises control using a sophisticated bank it has developed, known as the Universe Super Bank (USB), through its two sub branches known as Heaven and Hell

The job of the USB is to monitor and record every moral and ethical credit and debit on every human’s Whole of Life Card so that when someone dies, the USB’s Manager can determine immediately in which sub branch, Heaven or Hell, they will be given an after life account. (People amass credits if, during life, they treat others as they wish to be treated and care more for others than they care about themselves while people amass debits because they care more about themselves than they care about others.)

People with a strong credit balance in morality and ethics will be given an account in the Heaven sub branch while people with a debit balance in these areas will be given an account in the Hell sub branch. Unsurprisingly, the latter branch has more account holders.

Some company Chairmen, company Managing Directors and CEOs, plus Presidents, Prime Ministers, Cabinet Ministers, assorted other politicians, dictators and militarists et al, would expect that, after death, they would get an account in the Heaven sub branch because of their success on earth, as would the attendant armies of sycophants who helped them achieve that success.

Fortified with these thoughts they will face the USB Manager with confidence so that when advised that their Whole of Life account is so much in debit they have been given an account in the Hell sub branch they will be shocked.

No doubt they started with the best intentions so that, early in life, as they climbed the ladder of success the moral and ethical credit life balance was positive. However, when they became enamoured of money and power it became negative.

No doubt too, they will cry to the USB sub branch manager that they had been treated badly and been misunderstood, before going on to commiserate with fellow account holders such as Saddam and Hitler et al. I am not inclined to feel sorry for them.

Coffee finished, I then dragged myself off to Parliament House where, as I listened, I fantasised about the USB sub branch into which I thought each of our politicians would fit.

The Chronicle, for the best of Canberra’s community news


2 Responses to "Life and death are in the cards"

Don, you’ve just created a whole new accounting discipline.

Just what the world needs – more accountants.

According to this theory, would Saint Peter be the USB Manager?

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