Allan Takes Aim Blog

New religion’s HQ to be based in Canberra

Posted on: 14 December 2010


First published The Chronicle, Canberra, Tuesday14 December 2010 

I understand the new world wide Church of Planet Earth (COPE) will soon make an application to build its new international headquarters and first Climate Change Temple in Canberra. However, before ACT developers start salivating, I understand that, in keeping with COPE’s environmental principles, architects and planner members of the church will design and build the Temple using materials produced without causing any COemissions.

While COPE HQ and the Temple will be built in Canberra the official launch of COPE will take place on a Pacific Island, allegedly sinking because of climate change. COPE believes that using the island will highlight the fact that saving planet earth will be a race against time unless Governments world wide take its advice.

And even though it is said it is more blessed to give than receive, COPE should realise also there’s more to religion than meets the eye. Not only will the Climate Change faithful need saints to pray to, they will also need to be advised about dangerous non believers.

However perhaps more important, who will be the first Supreme Leader of the new church? It is said discussions are already under way as to who that should be. Names already being bandied about are Gore, Stern, Rudd, Wong and Brown. Apparently the names of many others are being considered but because their credentials have not yet been verified by the COPE Council their names are being kept a closely guarded secret.

Naturally as a serious church, COPE will need Gods and Goddesses although it will need to be careful with its selections because to meet gender equity standards there will neeed to be an equal number of Gods and Goddesses. At the same time it will need to satisfy the demands of believers from various countries in the global village.

This will not be easy but willing to lend a hand to help COPE get started, I take the liberty of offering for their consideration a range of Gods and Goddesses from well known past civilisations that should enable them to get started quickly. The range I offer is, of course, only a guide; COPE might need to extend its search for Gods and Godesses it thinks better suited to its purpose. 

Let me start by suggesting COPE might think of adopting the following Celtic Gods and Goddesses from ancient Britain: Eostre – Goddess off Spring. Rebirth, Fertility and New Beginnings; Amaethon –  God of Agriculture, Master of Magic (I think magic will be in great demand in the COPE Church); Caillech – Goddess of Weather, Earth, Sky, Seasons, Moon and Sun (I feel sure this Goddess will be prayed to a lot ); and Latis – Goddess of Water and Beer, a Goddess I feel sure who will be popular, particularly with people who seek to find consolation by imbibing the latter beverage.

COPE might also take a look at Gods and Goddesses from ancient China: Kuan Ti – The Great Judge ( I think he might get called on a lot); Kwan Yin – Goddess of Mercy and Compassion; T’shai – shen- God of Wealth (Cope members who are developers will like this God); Tsao Wang – God of Hearth and Family ( might not be accepted because there’s little left of either hearth and family today).

From India I suggest: Kali – Goddess of Destruction (Canberra name: ‘the Developer God’); Sarasvati –  Goddess of Speech, Wisdom and Learning ( Andrew Barr will probably adopt her as his personal Goddea); Shiva – God of Living and Happiness (Jon Stanhope please note.) 

Returning to European deities I suggest COPE might adopt: Athena  – Goddess of Wisdom and the Arts ( she will be snowed under with requests from Canberra); Dionysos – God of Wine (he will be a popular god in Civic pubs); Mars – God of War ( a god for drfnrcr forces worl wide); Venus- Goddess of Love, Protector of Gardens (specially suited to COPE believers in the Garden City ).

There are more Gods and Goddesses to choose from some of whom you might feel would be more suitable and as I’m open to suggestions,either send a letter to the editor or post them on this website.

The Chronicle for Canberra’s best community news. Published every Tuesday

A small addition to the published column. Any reader or friend of a reader going to the UK on holiday let me give you a website you might find useful for booking acommodation. This site is operated by a schoolfriend of mine from many years ago and a man of the highest integrity. Write the details down as they won’t be repeated: www.right-angle.org.uk

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