Allan Takes Aim Blog

Life, death and the boredom factor

Posted on: 15 December 2011


This is the unabridged text of the article published Tuesday 13, 2011 in The Chronicle, Canberra. The Chronicle, best for Canberra’s community news is published every Tuesday.

If imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, repetition is surely the ultimate form of boredom, a condition I experience many times as I surf the net, scan the newspapers and watch TV News broadcasts hoping I can decide what is news and what isn’t. No doubt many of you have had similar experiences.

News comes in many guises but generally, can be categorised as politics – serious, and what politicians think is serious; scandal – no matter who or what is involved; and the behaviour of celebrities and would be celebrities.

A death, other than natural, is also treated as news, as is sex – the more outlandish the better. Unfortunately as all media treat death and sex the same way, after reading or hearing the same story for the umpteenth time, it gets boring.

The unfortunate result of getting bored is that it can lead to death because boredom is a more lethal condition than many of today’s conditions that lead either to people killing themselves or killing other people.

So, if after watching, reading or listening to the ‘news’ you’re in a state of utter boredom you should sign up for the free ‘Go for life’ program. But a word of warning before signing up: please make sure you read the disclaimer that says: users of the program do so at their own risk and in full knowledge of the fact that should they end up dead no blame can be attached to the creator of the program.

But don’t let this put you off. Up to press I’ve not heard the program being accused of causing a death. Let me also add as a precaution, and to show your family that you’re always thinking about them, you might find it advisable to check if your life insurance is up to date. If it isn’t, it might be wise to correct the situation.

Although you might think you don’t need the program let me show you its benefits. For example: it suggests that if you spend too long at your computer and want to avoid becoming obese, you could profit by surfing the net for programs that will help you avoid obesity.

Go for Life will also point out that keeping obesity in check has some bonuses. Not getting obese will not only help you save money by not having to buy as much food but also the money you save can be spent on myriad items that up until then had been unaffordable.

Not that obesity is the only problem that boredom can bring. The program will point out that as you surf the web and scan the newspapers you could come across a story about how some new super drink, reinforced with alcohol, will keep you awake for hours on end and make you feel like superman or superwoman. However, it will also advise you to be careful because like drugs, the super feeling is both fleeting and dangerous.

It will then go on to point out many stories say the super drink turned some people, previously thought normal, into raving lunatics. And although you know that won’t happen to you I thought it worth mentioning, just in case some of your friends have been acting oddly.

And naturally too, because they’re friends and you know them well, you know they wouldn’t be acting oddly because of either the super drink or drugs. Being sensible like you they wouldn’t be caught dead doing such silly things. And if next time you see them they are lying in a coffin you’ll immediately come to the conclusion that their death must have been an accident. Won’t you?

What else could it have been? Now I know that you know it is silly to use drugs and as you’re not silly you’ll never get hooked. To prove it, you’ll even try “e” a couple of times and if you don’t have any trouble you’ll think your strong enough to resist getting hooked. That said, I wonder how many people now pushing up daisies have said the same?

Of course they might well be right but as the ‘Go for Life’ program is free you might as well sign up?
dca@netspeed.com.au; http://www.wordpress.com.au
The Chronicle on line@facebook

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