Allan Takes Aim Blog

Marriage is a universal culture. Same sex marriage is not

Posted on: 30 June 2013

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Marriage is a universal culture. Same sex marriage is not

With the word gay having been hijacked by the LGBT community, the phrase ‘I’m having a gay old time,’ is forcing heterosexuals to defend their sexuality. Indeed the time seems to be coming when it will be politically incorrect for people to claim they are heterosexual.

Frankly, I don’t care what someone’s sexuality is but as a lover of words, I object to gay, a perfectly good word, being dumped from the dictionary to meet the demands of the LGBT community. From this I can only deduce that no longer can heterosexuals claim to be gay a situation that to me suggests discrimination.  And isn’t that what started the argument?

That said and much as I think the LGBT community should have the same rights as everyone else, I admit to being totally confused as to why they should invoke marriage as a right. Marriage is a rite but not a right. Marriage is merely the title of a legal contract that has been used for eons to describe the relationship between a man and a woman that may, or may not, have the capacity to produce children. At the same time the contract also makes them responsible for such children and the protection of their legal rights.

Speaking as one half of a marriage of over fifty years with one surviving married child, it seems to me that giving members of the LGBT community the ‘right’ to use marriage as the title of their contractual relationship shows a lack of common sense.

A signed legal contract that binds two men or two women in a relationship should entitle them to the same social benefits, including the possibility of adopting children. As for the LGBT community, it does them no credit to wail continually in the media, like people crying wolf, about the unjustness of not being able to marry.

Let me add that I have good friends, not wolf criers, in the LCBT community whom I wish could marry and have children. Unfortunately for the packs of wolf criers, they do not want to marry but would be happy to have a contract with a different title.

And spare me those people, high level politicians in particular, such as British PM David Cameron, Australian PM Kevin Rudd and U.S President Barack Obama, all of whom recently saw the light about gay marriage equality after a lifetime opposing it. Not that I think such conversions aren’t genuine but in some cases I think the conversion owes more to political expediency than truth.

The same thing also happens in some cases when parents, suddenly confronted by a son or daughter preparing to take up a permanent relationship with a same sex partner, show how much they love them by publicly becoming converted to the idea.

While I respect their conversion and the opinion of many highly intelligent supporters of gay marriage, I have yet to read an opinion from any of them that would lead me to support the idea. That apart only fourteen countries in the world have adopted the proposition of same sex marriage which still leaves more than 200 countries that don’t. Even in the millenniums to come I doubt universal agreement on this issue will ever be achieved.

But let me disabuse you also of any idea that my opposition to marriage has a religious basis. It doesn’t. My opposition comes from comparing same sex marriage with my own. In the months before my wife gave birth, I experienced emotions and thoughts that can never be experienced by same sex couples.

Such thoughts and emotions apply particularly when danger occurs to mother or baby as it frequently does, during pregnancy. At such times, the non-sexual intimacy between the potential mother and father that provides support for the mother, is often necessary? Clearly in same sex unions that cannot happen.

Finally, same sex couples who say they want to get married because of love have no idea of what marriage is only because marriage takes more than love to make it work

Comment welcome.

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8 Responses to "Marriage is a universal culture. Same sex marriage is not"

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Leaders of the area’s Jewish LGBT community rejoiced today after the Supreme Court ruled that part of the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), which denied federal benefits to same-sex couples, was unconstitutional. The court also paved the way for a return of same-sex marriage to California in a separate case by dismissing an appeal to Proposition 8 that banned such marriages.

Research indicates that domestic violence among same-sex couples occurs at similar rates as domestic violence among straight couples. Unfortunately, domestic violence victims in same-sex relationships are not receiving the help they need. This is due to the lack of legal recognition of same-sex relationships, law enforcement’s failure to identity and properly handle domestic violence cases involving people of the same sex, and the shortage of resources available to victims of same-sex partner domestic abuse.

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